Shark Tank
Writing about fishing has been amazing these last few months. I’ve always wanted to have an outlet where I could put my fishing thoughts together and share them with like minded people. The other thing I’ve always wanted to do is to invent something that revolutionizes our beloved blood sport. I’ve yet to come up with “the one”, the big idea that I could take into Shark Tank, tattered fishing hat in hand, and explain to Mark Cuban why he would be an idiot of biblical proportions if he didn’t give me 800k cash. Below are a few of my ideas, which if you steal I’ll sue you for the exact dollar amount of a 24 foot Regular with twin Yamaha 300’s.
We all know that fishing is 95% style, and the rest luck. Most every angler I know spends an unhealthy amount of money on name brand gear. Coincidentally, my younger brother Declan is one of the precious few of us who isn’t a slave to the capitalist fishing powers that be. Unfortunately for him, I catch way more fish and I attribute that to my new Simms gravel guards. But what do you do when you’re down on cash and the season is rapidly approaching? Introducing name brand Croc attachments. If you don’t own a pair of Crocs, then I suggest you give yourself a good lashing and make Croc ownership priority numbero uno. The idea is to have little plastic pegs that you stick into the holes atop each croc (this already exists, but bear with me). MY idea is to have attachments with the fishing logo du jour so you can roll up to the boat launch and turn heads. “Does that guy have Fenwick aquatic shoes on?!” Why yes, yes he does. “He’s wearing St. Croix water moccasins. He must be using that Shakespeare Uglystick combo ironically!” He’s not, but you cant tell!. Name brand fishing Croc attachments, they’ll never know you’re broke.
My next idea is called lobster oil. If you fish in the Northeast, then you’ve probably heard the stories of giant striped bass eating lobsters. I’ve opened up a few bass in my day and found all sorts of little lobsters in their stomachs. So here is the idea; thick scented oil imbued with lobster flavor to entice big striped bass into eating. Scented oil is big business in other niches of the fishing industry, but it’s surprisingly lacking in the saltwater game save for Berkley Gulp. This summer I’m going to figure out how to make a lobstery perfume, and combine it with a dropshot rig with a 12 inch soft plastic lobster. Everyone will laugh at me until Greg Myerson is calling me up to confirm our dinner reservation at Legal Seafoods. Funny enough, Myerson (current striped bass world record holder) also went on Shark Tank and fleeced the sharks with his patented rattle weight. He and I will laugh as we trade stories about our many successes. Another happy use of lobster oil is to cover yourself with it, to make sure that other fishermen give you plenty of space to cast.
I recently had an idea that I truly believe could turn the industry on its head. I was fishing a pond and caught a bass that had clearly been caught before. It was a healthy fish, but it had a little hole in its upper lip that got me to thinking. Who was this other fisherman who was frequenting my favorite bass spot? I was unhooking that fish as I thought, and I realized that the poor bastard would now have another piercing, a relic of a hard fought (but lost) battle. Then it hit me, a fishing QR code. When you catch a fish of substance, you can put a little plastic QR code through the fin of the fish. It would be small, and not intrusive to the fish. This way you can lay claim to an individual fish, and if someone catches it after you, they can scan the code which will direct them to a picture of you flipping them off.
On a fishing related note, it was a pretty good weekend. I spent Saturday exploring some rivers nearby, and found some nice fish. The spring bite is just starting, and the rivers are seeing some smelt runs and some hatching insects. I think another week or so will really blow it open. We caught a few brookies, and one super nice brown trout. Today I painted my boat, but snuck out with my dad to pitch live shiners to largemouth. I got one that went at least 4 pounds, but I forgot the tape measure so it cant get entered into the community classic. It would have looked great with a QR code on its dorsal fin though.
-Grady
